Your Refusal To Engage In Small Talk Is Making You Seem Like An Insufferable Arse

I have - and have always had - trouble relating to people, "clicking" with them. Small talk and "chitchat" are things that I can work sometimes. Other times? Not so much.

For me, some subjects are more relatable than others - I can talk about the weather, but I can't talk about football (American or otherwise). I can talk about ice hockey, but I can't talk about Kardashians. I can talk about movies, but I can't talk about video games. I can talk about a million insubstantial things, but I have no interest in a hundred million others. If you think of small talk as an important starting point to any relationship or potential relationship, you'll look at it differently, because honestly: how many people in your life - NOT counting family or anyone who's been in your orbit since both of you learned to walk - started out from the first moment with a deep, satisfying conversation about a mutual interest?

At this point, I'm going to repeat the title of this entry, because it bears repeating: your refusal to engage in small talk is making you seem like an insufferable arse.

Explanation is in order, though, because it's not my aim to be insulting.

If you're interested in adding people to your collection, in making friends, you're going to have to wade through some small talk. Instead of thinking of it as something to endure, why not have some fun with it?

If someone lobs you a "Did you watch the game last night?", you may be tempted to roll your eyes, heave a long-suffering sigh, and turn your back on them. Instead, why not catch it, put a spin on it, and throw it back? You know: "I was actually playing a game of Quidditch" or "I was listening to Death-Metal-Free-Jazz and reading The Collected Works Of Franz Kafka" or "I was knitting a sweater and watching CNN" or "I was writing Firefly fanfiction", or whatever thing you were doing instead of watching the game. You never know when you're going to discover common ground - just because someone likes sports (or reality TV or pop music you can't stand or something else to which you are indifferent) shouldn't automatically disqualify them from "auditioning". You and that person might dovetail in every way except for their chosen icebreaker, but you won't find out if you refuse to participate in the icebreaker-y stuff.